When Toddler Biting Becomes Embarrassing: Why It’s Normal and How to Handle It

As parents, it can feel incredibly overwhelming when your toddler hits or bites another child. Whether your little one is the hitter or on the receiving end, it’s a stressful experience for everyone involved. You might find yourself asking, “Why is my kid doing this? Is it normal?” The short answer is: Yes, it's completely normal for toddlers to engage in hitting and biting.

According to a study from the early 1990s, around half of children have been bitten at some point during their toddler years. And while the data suggests that toddlers bite more often than older children, it’s important to note that biting is a developmentally appropriate behavior. Kids around this age are still learning how to express emotions and communicate frustration, which can often result in physical actions like hitting or biting .

Why Do Toddlers Hit and Bite?

Hitting and biting typically occur when toddlers are overwhelmed with emotions and lack the words to express themselves. This behavior is especially common in situations where a child feels frustrated, excited, or even overstimulated. According to a survey, about 65% of parents reported that their child had been bitten by age 4, and many mentioned their children displayed these behaviors in daycare or social settings .

However, while hitting and biting are normal behaviors, it’s essential to teach toddlers that it’s not an acceptable way to handle their emotions. This can feel like a daunting task, but there are some positive strategies that can help you and your child navigate this phase.

Tips to Help Your Child Deal with Biting and Hitting:

1. Acknowledge the Behavior: Let your child know that you recognize they are upset but that hitting or biting is not the answer. Offer them simple phrases like, “Use your words” or “Say ‘I need space’ instead of biting.”
2. Provide Alternatives: Redirect their energy by giving them a sensory tool, like a chew toy for oral fixation, or offering a calm space to cool down. Encourage positive alternatives to physical actions.
3. Apology Cards: Writing an apology card is a great way to help your toddler understand the impact of their actions. At Little Apologies Co., we’ve designed apology cards that make the process fun and meaningful. The cards allow your child to make amends, especially when they’re still learning to express themselves verbally.
4. Stay Consistent: Consistency is key. Keep reinforcing the same positive behavior strategies and encourage apologies whenever necessary.

It’s easy to feel embarrassed when your child bites or hits another, but remember, it’s a learning process for them. Using apology cards can also show the other child’s parents that you are actively working on the behavior with your child, offering a tangible way to communicate empathy and responsibility.